Variations on Storycrafting: Thomas the Rhymer
Part 3: My Thomas
by Harlynne Geisler

f you were to work this story up for telling, how would you start? I would begin by reading the story and finding other versions by asking STORYTELL, the email listserv, by checking the Internet, the Storytellers Sourcebook, my own and the library's collections of British tales. I like to have at least 3 versions to read. I prefer to find stories that I haven't heard from others, so that I'm not influenced by their telling, so frankly, I wouldn't pick this story to tell because many others do.

What questions would you ask? I've written my questions in capitals throughout the story as they came to me.

What aspects or elements of the story catch your attention? What are the potential directions? What research would you do? What would you start to work on first?

Thomas the Rhymer Thomas of Ecrildoune (HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE ECRILDOUNE? I WOULD EMAIL A SCOTTISH FRIEND TO ASK) lived in the south of Scotland. One summer's day, as he lay on the bank of the stream known as Huntly Burn, (I WOULD LOOK ON A MAP TO SEE WHERE THAT IS AND WHAT IS NEARBY) he heard the music of bells. Turning swiftly, he spied a beautiful lady riding on a horse. The horse was well arrayed and many bells hung from its harness; it was the music of these bells he had heard. The lady held the leashes of seven greyhounds and was obviously riding to the hunt. (I THOUGHT THAT LEASHES WOULD GET TANGLED AND BE DIFFICULT TO MANAGE WHILE RIDING A HORSE, SO I WOULD SEE IF I COULD FIND OUT WHETHER THIS WAS TRUE, OR MORE PROBABLY I WOULD LEAVE IT OUT OF MY TELLING. I DON'T WANT MY LISTENERS TO BE STOPPED TO WONDER ABOUT THAT, AS I DID. IT MIGHT TAKE THEM OUT OF THE STORY AS IT CONTINUES) Thomas was so taken with her beauty that he could not rest till he met her. He leapt to his feet, and raced to intercept her.

At the Eildon Tree (I WOULD CHECK MY FOLKLORE BOOKS AND THE INTERNET TO SEE IF THE TREE HAS ANY MYTHS OR FOLKLORE CONNECTED TO IT BESIDES THIS STORY.) he waited as she rode up. At once he hailed her, pulling off his bonnet and bowing low. She told him that she was the Queen of Elfland. He began to speak sweet words to her, but she cautioned him not to continue, for if he did, her beauty would fade away, and she would be able to cast a spell over him. Yet Thomas would not stop. (PROBABLY THERE IS DIALOGUE WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OR IN OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS STORY. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT EMOTIONAL PART TO THE STORY. I WOULD HAVE TO DECIDE IF SHE IS EMOTIONALLY INTERESTED IN HIM AND WARNS HIM OUT OF POTENTIAL LOVE, OR OUT OF PITY FOR AN IGNORANT MORTAL. THOMAS' MOTIVES ARE CLEARER TO ME--HE IS SMITTEN OR POSSIBLY AN IMPETUOUS YOUTH WHO DOESN'T REALLY BELIEVE HE IS VULNERABLE.)

As she had warned, her beauty faded away, revealing her to be small and drab; her beautiful clothes but poor and simple stuff. (A DRAMATIC MOMENT THAT WOULD BE IMPORTANT TO CONCENTRATE ON WHEN CREATING THE STORY. PROBABLY A PAUSE AND A GESTURE THAT WOULD GO OVER MY FACE TURNING A STERN BEAUTY INTO DRABNESS.) Then she smiled and told him he must ride away with her to Elfland for seven years to live, and he had no choice but to obey. (WHY DID SHE SMILE? WAS SHE BEING DEVIOUS BEFORE IN WARNING HIM, KNOWING THAT HE WOULD DISOBEY. WAS IT REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY? I WOULD PROBABLY HAVE HIM TRY TO RESIST THE SPELL HE IS NOW UNDER. MAYBE TRY TO MOVE IN A DIRECTION OPPOSITE WHERE I HAVE "PLACED" THE FAIRY, THEN STIFFEN MY BODY, AND RELUCTANTLY MOVE IN HER DIRECTION.)

He mounted up on her horse and away they rode. For three days they rode in deepest darkness, until Thomas was weak and faint from hunger. When he spoke of this, the lady turned her horse until they came to a garden filled with all manner of fruit trees. She plucked an apple from a tree and gave it to him, but cautioned him that if he ate of it, for ever after, he would be unable to speak anything but the truth. Thomas thought this a fearful fate, but was too hungry to put aside the apple, and so he ate. (MY RESEARCH INTO THIS MIGHT INCLUDE WATCHING THE JIM CAREY MOVIE "LIAR, LIAR" TO SEE WHAT TROUBLE HE GOT INTO FOR ALWAYS TELLING THE TRUTH. ACTING AS THOMAS I WOULD LOOK AT THE IMAGINARY APPLE I WOULD CUP MY HAND AROUND, BUT THEN SLOWLY BRING IT TO MY MOUTH TO EAT.)

Then she showed him three roads. The first was a broad and easy road across a flat, gentle plain. The second was steep and rocky, twisting and turning through thorns and briars. The third wound along a hillside, surrounded with bracken on all sides, shady and cool. The first, she explained was the road to Hell, the second the road to heaven, the third was their road, the road to Elfland.

As they entered Elfland, she warned Thomas not to speak to anyone he met, lest her husband discover his identity and grow jealous. As they entered Elfland, the Queen's beauty returned upon her. They rode to her castle and were welcomed, and there Thomas dwelt for three days. When three days were done, the Queen took him home, where seven long years had passed. Every seven years, one of the elfin court was taken away as tribute to Hell, and the Queen feared that Thomas would be chosen if she did not return him to his home. Upon their parting, she gave Thomas the gift of prophecy and the gift of writing musical verses and the gift of a fairy harp. (I LIKE ALL THE THREES WITHIN THIS SECTION. I WOULD PERHAPS MAKE THE AUDIENCE AWARE OF THIS PATTERN IN HOW I TOLD IT.)

Returned home after seven years, Thomas soon became known as True Thomas and Thomas the Rhymer, known throughout the land for his prophecies and his music. (THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL TALE FOR THOSE PEOPLE MUSICALLY INCLINED. I DON'T SING OR PLAY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, BUT I MIGHT RECITE SOME OF HIS LYRICS AS POETRY.)

Twice seven years passed. Then a group of knights passing by Ecrildoune saw a strange sight in the moonlight - two snow-white deer, a hart and a hind, passing through their camp. The knights went to Thomas to ask what the vision meant. He replied that "It shows me that I have spun my thread of life, and finished my race here." Taking up his harp, he walked out into the moonlight. The two deer came to meet him, and together they walked out into the night and Thomas was never seen again. To this day it is thought that the deer were the King and Queen of Elfland come to take Thomas back to their country with them forever.
(IF THE KING WAS FEARED TO BE JEALOUS BEFORE, WHY WOULD HE TAKE THOMAS BACK TO HIS LAND? IN ENDING MY TELLING, I MIGHT MAKE A FUNNY COMMENT AS AN ASIDE TO THE AUDIENCE ABOUT MY QUESTION OF THAT.)

—posted February 2002

Next article in the series.

Back to the series main page.